Hatching from the EGG... !!

Time speeds, And yes it bleeds.

You do grow up with change in needs.

Sometimes intentional and sometimes with please,

sometimes for good and sometimes for greed.

For once you were your mom's child,

But then time comes to say good-bye.

The tears in eyes with which she wait,

Knowing in heart thats all in fate.

Rush for house, rush for space,

Rush for food and rush for base.

The night comes by and we realise,

The every moment with family we tend to miss.

The moment arise when we feel alone,

We look at pictures stored in phone.

The memories hits hard and pinch me by,

A talk with mom, FILL MY EYE.

At the end i realise, its not that wise.

From miles apart, have to race from start.

As tiny eggs of birds ready to hatch,

We have to spread our wings and FLY HIGH.. !!

spectacle without glass. !!

Life is so vast,

with the days goin past.

Though nobody lives last,

why fight for glories or cast ?

Life without love is like,

GARDEN without GRASS,

COPPER without BRASS,

SPECTACLES without GLASS,

and EARTH without MASS.

Meaning of fights,

involving fists and harsh bites.

Earlier the sky was covered with kites,

Now its missiles loaded in flights.

Let peace be there,

with no grudges or fear.

Lets hold each's hand,

sharing food and land.

God sent us as humans,

then why behave like demons??

Let us live and spread love,

And leave the decision of life and death to the GOD ABOVE. . . !!

I STILL REMEMBER !!

I still remember the day,

when you were standing miles away..

i know it will sound kind of stupid..

at first sight i got struck by a CUPID.



Then after pretty a while,

we started passing each other sweet smile.

Though i know my smile was more of a grin,

because i knew i will surely have your heart win.



Those canteen glance, those indirect chance.

those flattering songs, in the beautiful lawns.

The short talks, the long walks.

the tiring wait, outside our college gate.



I still remember ...

the college fresher's , we danced together.

your innocent eyes, your beautiful smile.

wished if that moment can stop for some while.




Our sleeping late, and the special dates.

those early calls, and plans for malls.

Our b'day cakes, and the yummie shakes.

All my lies, just to hide my surprise.





Yes i know,lot's been changed from those beautiful days,

but its true, luv has evolved in lot many ways.

No more canteen,no more songs, no more college lawns..

Just the memories.. only memories.. which i STILL REMEMBER.. !!

soo near YET soo far !!

Sometimes life gives us so much to feel happy about, and the very next moment it brings tears in our eyes just to make us realise that nothing is permanent and going to stay forever.
Well friends, don't get scared about me being depressive (as sometimes its good to be serious).

Before you start guessing out the reason for this blog, let me tell you all that it is about the feeling which is there prevailing in each of us. the feeling of INSECURITY, the feeling of ADDICTION, the feeling of CLOSENESS, the feeling of SEPARATION..... The feeling of ... hmm.. BEING ALONE !!

Why is it that we tend to cry even when we are happy ?? why is it that we don't understand if we are happy for the separation or sad for the hapiness ?? why does one comes so close to you when ultimately they have to go ?? how it feels when a person whom u'v spend your childhood with, leaves you within fraction of seconds ??

6th feb 2010 --
my sister's wedding. A big day for me, my family and my sister. Went really well and smooth.
Saw my sister dressed up like a beautiful bride. Could not believe my eyes that time, used to see her in casuals and now watching her walking down the aisle as a beautiful bride. Everybody looking at her and appreciating the new bride. I still remember the nervous looks in her eyes, the innocence in her face, the grace of her glowing jewelleries. There was happiness and excitement all around. So was i happy and excited as she was going to start her new life with her life partner, but still there was a feeling as if a part of my life is being taken away from me, a feel so low, so miserable. A feel of being drowned. But then, i got busy with the wedding procedures and rituals. Everything was happening so fast, i wished if the time stops for a while. I wasn't able to face the truth that within few hours, i will be sleeping alone in my room , alongside pillows and sheets where my sis used to sleep. But then its true, time don't wait for anyone. Finally time came for di's 'lava fere', a hindu tradition where all the swears and ol takes place (an official way of completing the hindu marriage). I was asked to perform some rituals (being a brother is tough, trust me !!). For the first time in my life i actually felt the need of my sister, felt holding her back , wanted to say how much i love her. Every memory,every moment, every fight, every debates started to haunt my head. Was difficult, but controlled my tears and finally my sis is now a wife, a daughter-in-law, a sister-in-law.. *touchwood*. She went where she belonged, to her new house, her real house.

Came back home, clean our messed home, guests left... back to normal schedule.
There was a pinch of sadness and dullness in the air. Everything seemed to be soo dull. I entered my room and turned on the television and there was my favourite sport -- wrestling. I tried focussing on wrestling so that i can deviate my mind but then suddenly i remember the days when my sis used to fight with me for the television remote whenever i used to watch wrestling.
Even the volume of the set was at its highest, there was a sudden silence which disturbed me. A sudden breeze went through my body and shook me. i cudn't control my tears. I never ever thought that these small things would actually turned out to be so apprehensive.

Now from whom will i take stupid pangas ?
Upon whom will i make funny songs ?
Who will protect me from mom and dad's scoldings ?
Who will make me laugh when i'l be down ?
Who will guide me through my thicks and thins ?
Who will be my best friend with who m i can share anythng, anytime ?
Who will say 'SAALEY SUDHARJA' 2 me ?
For whom will i bring surprise gifts ?
With whom will i share pizzas and burgers ?
Why the hell do we grow up ??
these questions started haunting me and there was a sudden and rapid flow of tears which i hide for so long just because i didn't want mom and dad to cry. But then i culdn't control it , and cried all night in my room , inside my blanket.

I was happier being a small kid and playing with my sisters than being an alone brother.
but then i was being selfish. on one side i was happy that my sis is starting a new life and on the other side i was crying because of being alone.

now its 9th feb
and over these 2-3 days everything is getting back to norml routine.
It is tough specially when you are addicted and attached with someone, but then this is life.
she is SO NEAR, YET SO FAR FROM ME. just want to wish her all the best and a happy life and may she get the same love as she got from here.
GOD BLESS !!

P.S -- friends i know that i am being very emotional and evrything remains the same, but this blog is what i felt at that particular moment. i know that she will remain to be my sister and same love will be there. so, don't feel bad about me. :)

never QUIT..

Life is a game, which we all have to tame.


there's no-one over whom u can put the blame.


There are moments which brings smile over the face,


and feel happy to be on the front of this silly horse race.


You'l never come to know when you'r left behind,


and when you realise , its the end of your howling reign.


There's tears, there's pain and the question WHY ??


there's no-one just no-one who stays there to reply..

You may feel many times that you are all alone,

close your eyes and you will see god aiding your soul.

STAND UP, NEVER QUIT, make ur way through the slashes,

Remember , even phoenix was born from its ashes.. !!

The Night Says All.. !!

As an infant, we learn as how to crawl,
when playing games meant our favourite doll.
The innocent child doesn't know at'ol,
if the life ahead is big or small.
The days are meant for our cereal bowls,
And when the tiring eyes relax, the night says all.

Then we grow up and we learn way more than crawl,
and the doll is replaced with a playing ball.
Being taught how to stand after many a fall.
The days passes by with tiffs and brawls,
And when the wounded knees rest, the night says all.

Then comes time, when we mature and are no-more teens,
when the shirt replace T-ies and trousers replace jeans.
When the books and journals replaces kings and queens.
Life become a challenge where we may stand or fall,
The worries are laid back While the night says all.

The day comes when we realise that v'r growing old,
when the parties and the meetings turns church folds.
When the gatherings of the young ones remind us the old days,
and then the minutes and the hours are spent on these gaze.

We lay ourselves all wraped with shawls,
the eyes are CLOSED, nd the night says all..

Blurred ...

Is life the mystery or living in a mystery is life ??